School Violence

I need to take a minute to get what happened today off my chest. Today my 5-year-old was threatened at school by another 5-year-old. Seems harmless right, kids will be kids type of thing. I too thought that…at first.

Apparently during lunch at school, my daughter decided to show her “muscles” to another little boy. That little boy thought she was going to punch him and he threatened to kill her. Then he hit her on the butt. Both kids were pulled in to talk to the principal and the kid that did this was given a punishment.

I was informed of the entire story with a phone call from the principal. I thanked her for calling and I was okay with the actions that were taken. Then I went to pick my kids up after school. The story I got from my daughter was slightly different from the schools. While the majority of what I got was the same, this is the part that upset me. She said that after the incident another little boy she is friends with came up and told her that the offender was telling other kids he was going to bring a gun to school and shoot her. Now, I know this little boy who told her this, I do not think he would make anything up and to my knowledge he wasn’t even there for the incident to begin with.

I of course called the school back with huge concerns. While the school assures me that the proper measures have been taken…AND the child’s parents had been informed and were totally cooperative. I am still worried. One side of my head says that I’m sure everything will be fine…and come on, at my kid’s school? No. The other side screams…that’s what everyone says. It’s happened before to other people. You never know.

What has happened to us as a society that kids are threatening kids at this age? When I was in kindergarten 21 yrs ago this wasn’t an issue. The occasional boy looking up a girls skirt maybe…but this? No. I don’t remember ever hearing about kids bringing guns to school until the event at Columbine. By then I was graduating high school myself.

Now I’m torn. I’m torn between being an overly concerned parent and not acting concerned enough. Obviously I take this very seriously. And the school did give the kid a punishment. However, they were not present for the gun statement. It was second-hand and I’m not sure they even knew about it when I called back after I learned of it. So whether they say something further to the kid or his parents tomorrow I don’t know. Then I have to factor in the error of accuracy that could be involved with 5 and 6 yr olds. Though I highly doubt what was said about the gun was error.

I have no idea what this kids home life is like that caused the incident. It could be horrible or it could be great…no clue. I know virtually nothing about him. Which scares me even more. If I knew his family, or his background I might feel more at ease. But I don’t. I do know tomorrow morning when I drop my kids off is going to be rough for me….when my bubble comes crashing down around me, I have a hard time dealing with it.

My daughter seems fine though. Untraumatized. Who would have thought my first encounter with a child bully would be in my 5 yr olds class. Sometimes this world we live in…sucks.

13 Comments

  1. I’m sorry to hear this happened to your daughter. It’s only human nature for you to be concerned especially when the word “gun” is used. You don’t know what is going to happen and I think I would have reacted the same way. My sons are in Elementary School and someone is always bothering them. Pushing them, tripping them. It’s sad that we have to constantly worry about the safety of our kids.

  2. When I was in K some little boy looked up my skirt and told the class I wore diapers because my undies were white. I thought that was the worst thing ever. I don’t know what I’d do if I was in K now!

    You would almost think the school would want the two sets of parents to meet, if for nothing else to reassure you that they are ‘normal’ and ‘safe’ people??!! Let us know how it goes!

    By the way… changes on the blog look great!

    1. It is most definitely a different world these days. I have *seen* the parents I think, I believe they pick him up just like I do which means they are within walking distance of the school. Though I’m not sure I have ever talked to either of them. You better believe I will introduce myself at the next chance though. I like to be completely informed of who my kids are interacting with on a daily basis. If that means I strike up a conversation with 26 sets of parents x2…I will do it.

  3. What an awful experience! And one that I, as a parent of 2 young children, worry will happen to my family some day. It is the “not knowing” that you described that makes it so bad. But as a parent you need to listen to your inner mom and do what you need to in order to reconcile this situation. *hugs*

    1. Ugg but what to do when that voice argues with itself? LOL. We will see how today goes. I told the girl just to not talk to this boy and leave him alone. At least for now. And I will be sending a note with her to keep them separated at all times today. Sucks that in kindergarten I am dealing with this.

  4. This scares me! I want the school to suspend him! And I want you to talk to his parents. This scares me a lot. I am on the overly concerned side of things though, probably balancing on overly protective and crazy actually. love you!

    1. To my knowledge he was given after school punishment for a few days. I am playing it by ear and seeing if he says anything to her today. I would classify myself as overly protective as well I guess. By that I mean my kids don’t walk anywhere alone, they don’t play outside alone and I always talk to the parents my kids go over to houses to visit. Sometimes I think I in the minority of parents that does that nowadays.

  5. I have no children or grandchildren to worry about so cannot say that this type of thing affects me personally, but do worry about children like yours Nikki who are in this situation!
    I am so sorry this happened to your daughter and hope this is the end of it… I live an hour from Austin Texas and it has been a few years but on the way to school with her mother in the car a young girl was accosted by a man who tried to drag her from the car at a stop sign and force her into his own car…
    The world we live in is filled with horrors for parents of kids of any age and I wish it were not!

    jackie

  6. As I mentioned on Twitter, I had a bullying incident when my daughter was in K (she’s in 3rd now). First one was with a boy that no longer goes there and to be honest I don’t remember all details but I was told by the teacher and she assured me that the other parents were made aware. And like any school parking lot, there’s gossip and I was informed that the kids is just weird. The second one was a with a girl and she acts hostile towards everyone. Her parents are made aware but I think for them they realize that trying to rein her in now is too late; they should have taught rules and manners earlier instead of giving her whatever. It’s a shame. But my daughter still tries to be nice to her in the hopes that one day she will return the kindness. As parents, we can only safe guard them so much before we smother. Hopefully everything worked out for the best with your daughter and the other kids chills out.

    1. Yea parking lot gossip runs amuck at our school as well. For the most part we see each other everyday and are friendly. When something happens to a child who’s parents pick them up..we all know quite quickly. It would be nice if the boys parents said something to me personally. I know when my son had an incident (he was going through a medicine change and one made him act violent) I made him not only apologize to the kid but the parents as well AND he had to give the child money from his bank to buy a new shirt (shirt got ripped during incident). He’s never done anything like that again let me tell you. I feel I am a pretty laid back parent. And kids will be kids. You can’t expect there to be no name calling, no isolation, no social groups, no disagreements…I get that. And really, that’s a entirely different scenario. It’s when weapons get involved that I have a major problem. If a kid threatens another kid with a weapon of any sort that is miles above simple kid name calling in my book. ESP if that weapon happens to be a gun or a knife. AND it shows something is going on in the offending kids brain if this kid thinks the solution to a problem is killing someone. At the age of this kid it is particularly disturbing to me. My kids have said a lot of things, even things out of character for a child their age. Sign of the times. but killing someone? No. Never.

      I have issue with the school disbelieving that a kid isn’t capable of something. I bet that’s what every other school thought before a shooting happened there as well. No…it won’t happen here. Or what about a child as young as 4 getting a hold of their dad’s gun and bringing it to preschool? It’s happened. Did they do it with the intent of harming. No but the child very easily could have. To think it couldn’t happen at any school is just sticking your head in the sand. It could. Easily.

      So yes I agree that we are parents walk a fine line between protection and smothering. When faced with simply kids will be kids scenarios I say see if they can work it out on their own before interfering. But when faced with a situation that involves threatening to kill…you better believe that the school and parents better be keeping a closer eye on that student. Because you just never know these days.

  7. I hear your concerns! I am the mother of a 7 year old girl and I also serve as a part time lunch supervisor at my daughter’s school. You can only imagine what I see at lunch! I tend towards being overprotective! I can honestly say that most younger kids don’t have the social skills to interact with other little kids. You find them repeating things that they hear older siblings say or that they hear on TV. They don’t really understand what they are saying. I find amazing what adults will say infront of these “little sponges”! If you asked the child who threatened to kill to explain his comment or say it in another way, his answer would show that he was spouting words he really didn’t understand. I spend alot of time helping the little ones learn to use their words better! But the overprotective side of me is really happy I’m a presence at my daughter’s school and I am watching what is going on 🙂

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