The glass is half empty

Is your glass half full or half empty? I’m pretty sure mine was full at some point in my life and someone has been taking sips from it ever since. At this rate I’m going to have to start answering that it’s just plain empty. I wish whoever is drinking from the glass of my life would knock it the hell off. If they are that thirsty I will gladly give them another glass to drink from. Or, maybe this is a test of wills. In the next life I will have no worries, there will be no snarky bill collectors and above all I won’t be wondering what’s going to happen next. All I have to do is just make it to the end of the tunnel. Seems easy enough. Except in the tunnel are all the things that slow me down. So getting to the end is a process that tears me a little more everyday. It seems like even the smallest of things I need people to do can’t get done. Things get forgotten, people misplace important items, jobs don’t get done. I’m expected to sit around and wait patiently while other people get their act together. Well, sorry world, I can’t sit on my booty and wait for you to do what you need to do. My family needs you to actually do your job now, not tomorrow, or next week.  Not understanding how this is difficult.

Husband is still without a job. Which means he is doing most of the housework while I try to make enough money to pay rent and bills. That’s not going so well, by the way. There literally isn’t enough hours in my day, nor work to be done. He needs a job or he needs to start the packing process. People constantly tell me “things happen for a reason” . I wish that saying would be outlawed. Unless you can tell me the reason, then of course, spout your fortune cookie sayings to anyone that will listen. But, you can’t, so just leave it alone. The saying doesn’t make me feel any better, does not help me in any way, and generally just pisses me off.

Thankfully though so far the kids seem unaffected. They don’t understand finances and food crises. Keeping the boy fed is a job all its own. I really don’t know where he puts it all. He needs to get a job…he is only 7, but still, he eats more than me. Since he never sits down for more than 30 seconds, I can see how his metabolism is so revved up. It really isn’t fair. If I had his energy I could work 20 hrs a day and still be able to come home and do the chores and fix meals.All he wants to do is play video games.

I know we aren’t alone, I know this is common place these days. So, why does it feel so lonely over here? Got to keep the faith I suppose. I really am hoping there is a plan to the destructiveness that has become my life. There better be, or I want my money back.

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