Happy birthday to me…

29 years ago this morning I decided to make my big entrance. I graced my mom with my presence if you will. And, not without fan fair. I had been turned sideways throughout the majority of the pregnancy until the doctor turned me late in the game. I will leave it to your imagination how he might have done that 29 years ago. Things weren’t as technical as they are today. So, he turned me and then went about his business with his other patients for a while. When the time came to push he was astonished to discover that all his hard work was for not. I did not want to be head down. Made the blood rush to my head. I much preferred my original position of sideways. How dare he try to tell me how to lay. I am an independent woman damnit. C-section it was.  I promptly contracted pneumonia upon arriving. Ended up staying in the hospital for a few extra days. Guess that’s what I get for defying him.

Now here I am 29 years later, living the American dream. Oops, sorry, I mean living the American reality. Still as independent as ever. Raising my very own headstrong girl. I now understand why my mom and I clashed for so many years. I want control, the girl wants control, together we are a bomb ticking its countdown.

Yesterday I went to get my license renewed. Spent at least an hour there because the people who work there hate their jobs. They must pay really well or something.  They all have to be related to people who work downtown in human services. The attitude is the same. You are scum, they have to deal with you, but they will not make eye contact while doing so. Had to pay $80 for that license and a sticker. Highway robbery. Not to mention the picture looks like I am drunk and high. I swear they do it on purpose. It is a daily competition to which girl can take the worst customer picture that day. The winner gets a coffee mug or something equally as dumb. I am considering “losing” it and buying another. It’s that bad, I assure you. No I am not, and will not, put it up. I prefer people to actually think I look decent. If I posted that picture, that thought would get blown right out of the water. Only one place I would pay $80 for a picture that horrible..thank you Ohio license bureau. I salute thee for ripping off everyone in our state.

So I am 29 today. Not 30 like my husband thought. Ha. I will also continue to be 29 for the next several years. Anyone that says otherwise will have to be swiftly dealt with.

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