Meat by Opal Carew

Meat by Opal CarewAvailable: July 26, 2016 Amazon/B&N

Type: Erotic Romance

Publisher: St Martin’s Press/ Swerve

My Copy: NetGalley

Reviewer: Nikki

Just one taste isn’t enough…

I ran into Rex Keene—literally—when I was trying to catch my flight and his muscled, tattooed arms stopped my fall.
Then our flight gets canceled, and we’re stranded in the same hotel room together…it ended up being the steamiest night of my life.
All I knew is that I had to see him again.

I just didn’t expect him to show up a week later in the restaurant I manage…as our new head chef.
But the generous, tender man I spent that night with is gone; instead he’s arrogant, demanding, and terrorizing the staff.
But he won’t give up until we’re together – and I’m not sure I can stay away.
Which man is real?
Who is Rex Keene?

This book is as ridiculous as it’s title and cover. For real people, it was at times hard to read. So let’s start at the beginning shall we?

The book open with Rebecca mourning the lose of a beloved aunt. Apparently, being the glue that held everyone in the family together, Rebecca had to fly home to stay with her ailing aunt in her final days and then make the impending funeral arrangements. In doing all this, when she finally makes it to the airport on her way back home, she has a slight breakdown in the arms of a gorgeous man whom she has just met. Because the weather is bad, their flight (b/c DUH they are of course going to the same place) is cancelled and the man who she just met offers to share a hotel room with her. This kinda sounds like the plot of an episode of Criminal Minds or Law and Order SVU, but of course, our hero Rex isn’t trying to kill her, just, you know, get in her pants. He’s attentive and tender and Rebecca is pretty much falling all over herself to repay him for his kindness.

So things are getting hot and heavy and then we find out Rex is hung like a horse. Apparently it’s sooooooo big that other women won’t go near it. This woman writing this review included, because if I unzip your pants and a missile falls out, I’m done. Here is the description ya’ll…

“She’d had no idea a man could be that big. The head was the size of a plum- a really large plum. The shaft was as big around as her forearm. Maybe bigger.” 

“She wrapped her hands around it, unable to get her fingers all the way around”

At this point, I reached over and tried to wrap my fingers around my husbands wrist to get a visual of just how big we were talking. My fingers wouldn’t close on his wrist…no…just no. No dude, hot or not, is putting that thing anywhere near me. Sorry for your luck. You can go downtown with that tongue ONLY. There’s also a very uncomfortable BJ scene. The entire time I’m picturing side show sword swallowing and cringing. CRINGING.

Alright, so Rebecca’s one night stand turns up at her place of work as the new head chef. *cue impending doom music* He was hired because he can make a mean steak. And that’s what a hotel restaurant needs to be good at I guess? He’s hell bent on firing half the staff and he’s accusing them of stealing. Rebecca is pissed that he’s uprooting everyone and mad about his drastic change in demeanor from personal to work life. Not pissed enough to stop fucking him, but you know, she’s pissed. He tells her he’s a Dom during some hate sex. She’s all like, “ok” without even thinking about it because she’s heard it’s fun. *eye roll* He gives her some cheesy safe word that you know she’s going to bust out in a fight and not during sex and that’s exactly what happens some time later when she finds out Rex isn’t who he says he is.

This is just bad guys…it was so bad that had it not been a novella I would have stopped long before the end. With stellar lines like:

“What I want is a big piece of meat”

I can’t take this serious. I just…ugh…that is all.

 

I give Meat by Opal Carew 2 stars 

 

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