There comes a time when you need to look at what your goals are. Most importantly you need to look at not what you want to do, but what you HAVE to do, to get there. Having a husband that was without a job for a time puts everything into perspective with what I need to do. I have decided that I need stability. Stability makes me feel safe, it also pays my bills. As much as I want to I can’t wait for opportunities to find me, I have to go actively look for them. Doesn’t mean I won’t still be doing everything I do now. Just means that I need to pick the most stable thing I have right now and work that first. Everything else will have to come in second, if I have time. What it boils down to is family…and the fact that I have one. It’s not just me that I am supporting. I have two beautiful kids that I need to make sure have everything they need as well. They actually expect me to feed them….daily *sigh*. As much as I want to be there for people, I need to be selfish when I am dealing with my kids. I have to pay my bills just like everyone else. I will miss some things about what I am backing away from. However, it’s not like I will be losing this part of my life completely, just focusing the majority of my time elsewhere until I can find better stability there.
Plus, this means I will get to spend a little more time reviewing books and helping out my aspiring author cousin…which is one of my true passions. If I could make a living out of beta reading, I would be totally all over that.
Until then, I will grab my mop and broom and get back to work.
Boooooo I hate hard decisions that leave me feeling unfulfilled.