I was recently reading on another blog about grocery store etiquette and some of the things that should be common knowledge to other people, but apparently are not. There are several things I would like to address in this blog that I read and found myself nodding my head in agreeance on my couch. If we could all do this, my shopping experience would improve greatly. Perhaps I wouldn’t leave Walmart wanting to knock someones head off.
1. If you can manage to walk into a store with your own two feet and push a cart around, you can manage to put that cart away after you complete your shopping trip. By that I mean either walk the cart back to the store or use one of the cart corrals. They are there for a reason. Do not leave your cart chilling in the middle of the parking lot where its bound to roll off and dent someones else’s car. If you don’t want your car dented, I’m sure other people don’t either. Please do not give me the “well, I have kids and can’t leave them in the car while I return it” excuse. I have two kids. I either think ahead of time and park by the cart corral (HAHA SMART HUH), lock them in the car while I return it or make them come with me and buckle them in afterwards.
2. If you insist on writing a check, then start it before you get up there. Your standing in line behind a bunch of people anyway, the name of the store and the date are probably not gonna change in the time it take you to get up to the front. And unless you get married while in line, your name isn’t changing either. Please don’t make me wait in line any longer then I have to. Especially if you’re a really slow writer (heads up old people, I am talking to you).
3. Don’t be a line crowd-er. By that I mean personal space. I had some lady standing so close to me the other day I could smell her Charlie cologne. Yeah I said Charlie cologne…I mean really. Is there a reason you need to be touching me? I am not a touchy person, back up please. Unless you want me to “accidentally” elbow you in the ribs or perhaps run my cart into your ankles. Both easily avoided by getting off my rear.
4. If you happen to run into your bestest friend from middle school (O.M.G!) take your conversation somewhere other than the middle of the main aisle. Take it over to the condom aisle because based on the people I am running into, a lot aren’t using those. I do not care to hear about that time when you were forced to climb the rope in gym class in 7th grade. Or who Cindy is sleeping with now. I just need to get my cart through the store and back up to the registers in a timely manner.
5. Treat the aisles like a road. Please don’t park your cart in the middle and wander off to the other end. It’s totally ok if you need something from the other side of the aisle but don’t act like you don’t see the other people trying to maneuver around your cart…you do.
6. Please don’t let your child push the cart if they aren’t capable of doing so. If I am keeping a good distance I don’t need a cart rammed into my ankle. I am also sure the workers of the store don’t like their displays jacked up by little drivers.
7. The bikes are there for trying out ONLY. Not to ride through the store at breakneck speed while the parents are buying beer over in the grocery section. Either buy it and ride it at home or leave it alone. This goes for all toys. If I can manage to control my two houligans…others can too. Simple, say no. Try it out once, it works.
8. Last but not least. Look in the mirror before you leave your house. I implore you. Unless your goal is to end up on peopleofwalmart.com that is. Ask yourself if you honestly think you look ok. There is a huge difference between sloppy/dirty and having an off center/unique sense of style. You can wear what you want without your ass hanging out. Or even worse, your belly. Just go one size up if your on that border…please. I hate having to bleach my eyes after witnessing your latest attempt at “looking hot”.
So there is it. Do you have any pet peeves? What really sets you off when you go shopping somewhere? I am sure that I could think of more, but I think this covers the majority of mine. I often can be found just shaking my head in awe when I go out. It’s like the evolutionary chain missed some people in the very important stage of “common courtesy”. These people are still flinging poo at each other….