Requests Gone Horribly Wrong #2

It’s time for another addition of Requests Gone Horribly Wrong….. I implore, once again, that authors take the time to actually look at the site they are pitching to. I know you think your book is going to change the face of the writing industry. You’ve wrote The Bible Part Two or something epically awesome, but sending it to every review site your disillusioned eyes see is not going to help your case.

Writing a blurb has got to be difficult, I truly get that but some of these are so horribly written that it makes me want to run for the hills and live like the Amish so you can’t track me down and request anything. If the authors wrote them it leads me to think the entire book is going to wrote like that. If they paid someone to write it for them…well that person should not be allowed near a keyboard.

I do love myself a good book and the blurb has got to be incredibly eye catching to get my attention. These……these blurbs just confuse me. Confuse me a lot.

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Jackson grew up privileged feeling alone, without trust, with little faith in God. With her beliefs deeply rooted in the Christian faith, Chalice introduces her husband to a more spiritual and fulfilling lifestyle while working to gain his trust. They figure out how to rise above self-esteem issues, problems with one another’s grown children and other numerous challenges in order to become an example for others and a testament to the power and love of God.

All I’m reading is there will be no sex…and if anyone calls out OH GOD! It’s won’t be what I want it to be….I don’t read inspirational. Ever. 

….Stuck in the age of Whirlaway, swing dancing, and a peacetime draft, Joel begins a new life as the nation drifts toward war. With the help of his 21-year-old trailblazing grandmother and her friends, he finds his place in a world he knew only from movies and books. But when an opportunity comes to return to the present, Joel must decide whether to leave his new love in the past or choose a course that will alter their lives forever….

Wait is his new love his 21 yr old grandmother or someone else? Dear lord, was Freud around back then? I pray I’m wrong….

Oceana has grown to love only the ocean – surfing and teaching others how to care for the ocean. Things change for her when she meets her younger neighbor, a British professional golfer named Guy. Their meeting is accidental, but it leads to another meeting at the ocean where Oceana takes Guy surfing. Surfing lessons and golf lessons turn into dinner dates and eventually a romance blossoms between the two athletes. Their worlds change when, one night, Oceana doesn’t come home from surfing…………They deeply love completely different sports and yet they come to value, respect and love each other.

Ok, the guy is named GUY and the girl that loves the ocean is named Oceana? How can you get more original then that? Isn’t this a Barbie movie? I swear my 7 yr old has a movie like this…just more original. Also later on it says the type is blue for the book and I’m pretty sure that would give me a migraine. Actually I’m pretty sure the blurb already gave me one. 

But meeting Captain Morgan is more than she counted on because he makes her laugh and shows her that sometimes love comes before duty

Well yes, Captain Morgan makes my clothes fall off too……Please don’t name your characters after things. It’s annoying. 

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Until next time 🙂 and there will be a next time…..

8 Comments

  1. All I have to say is wow! They are pretty bad in my opinion and I am neither a writer or an editor. I do think some of them are hilarious, like the 21-year old grandmother! That one had me rolling. Though I am sure it can be frustrating to bloggers/reviewers because it is time consuming to read it, then reply back.
    Thanks for sharing, Nikki. 🙂

  2. Well those just sound…bad! Not something I would stand in line to buy. Or even get free. Learn this word people: “Tantalize”…it’s not a naughty word. It’s not forbidden. Those were good for a chuckle…not a belly laugh, or even a snort. Just a chuckle, itty bitty one.

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