Please donate to this awesome cause!

While on twitter tonight I heard this story that tugged on my heartstrings. An author I follow on twitter is in the middle of an international adoption nightmare. I highly suggest you read her story and help any way you can. I myself just donated $5 to the cause. Having a husband that was laid off and just started working again restricts me to the $5. I would tell her story myself, but she does it so much more justice so I won’t attempt it.

Here is a excerpt:

What do a skipped cup of coffee, a little Chinese orphan girl, and you have in common? I’ll get to that in a minute, but first, I want to tell you our story.

We had three biological boys in four years, and then I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. I had a hysterectomy and while I mourned the fact that I couldn’t have any more biological children, I was certain our family wasn’t finished. My husband wasn’t so sure. 🙂 I’d talked about adopting and I always saw us with a little girl from China. He came up with a ton of reasons why now wasn’t the right time to adopt. Then, on Mother’s Day of 2005, he leaned over to me in church and said, “We have a daughter in China. We need to start the adoption proceedings to bring her home.” I adjusted to this unexpected news (we hadn’t discussed adoption for months) in about 15 seconds. 🙂

The next day, we began researching adoption and we picked out her name: Johanna Faith. Johanna means God’s Gracious Gift and Faith is what it is taking to bring her home. We signed up with Chinese Children Adoption International agency based out of Colorado. We completed our stateside paperwork and homestudy within a few months, sent off our dossier to China with the understanding that it would be a 6-8 month wait, and eagerly planned to bring our daughter home.

Soon, though, we began to hear rumors that the wait time was extending. Then we heard that the government had cracked down on orphanages who were receiving money from the state but who weren’t keeping all of their beds full and the wait slowed to a crawl. Our dreams of having her home for Christmas were dashed. And then our dreams for having her home in time for summer were dashed as well. Before we knew it, another Christmas had passed and we were still waiting. Meanwhile, the Olympics were coming to Beijing, and the word was most adoption processes would stop altogether.

As the wait stretched from 8 months to three years, I struggled with depression. I could hardly bear Christmas, because she wasn’t yet there. I shut the door of her bedroom and left it closed because I couldn’t bear to walk past it in the hall. It hurt to think about having a child out there whom I couldn’t protect. Couldn’t love. Couldn’t save. Three years became four with no real change. Our homestudy expired. Our immigration petition expired. Three times. Our fingerprints expired. Four times. And China raised the orphanage and court fees by thousands while we waited. Suddenly, the cushion of money we’d raised at the start of this process was almost gone, and China was picking up speed in their child match program.

In September, it will be five years since we officially started our adoption process to bring Johanna home. We expect to receive her picture, information, and permission to travel sometime by the middle of September.

I opened her bedroom door for the first time in 3 1/2 years.

And went a little crazy ordering cute little hand-made hats and headbands on Etsy because I still don’t know her size so can’t buy her any clothes.

We’re so excited to be able to travel soon to bring her home! But we still need to raise $8,000 to ransom her life from the orphanage. And that’s where you come in!”

I only know that there are so many children that need love. In our country and overseas. Please look in your heart and see if you are able to help in any way. Check out her  entire story here and be sure to enter the contest if you would like:


I just like to win

I hate that I am a competitive person. It makes dealing with day-to-day activities extremely challenging. Take for instance driving. When I am driving I am constantly looking in my rear view mirror. For safety? Nope. I am looking to make sure I am going fast enough to ensure that I will not get passed. That some jerk isn’t speeding up behind me doing 80 on a residential street. Why do I care? Well, I want to be first, duh. I am what you would call a “forceful driver”. Meaning, drive right and we are good. Try and cut me off, pass me when I am already going over the speed  limit or ride my back bumper you will be dealt with. For one, I have very good brakes and I like to use them. Second, my accelerator works pretty well too. Last, I like to win…did I mention that already?

Ebay is another realm that my competitiveness takes over. If I bid on an item and then someone bids on it that’s fine. Once. If I bid again and so do they, it’s on like Donkey Kong. At that point it then becomes less about whatever the item is and more about winning. I will sit by my computer for the last 5 min of the auction and hit refresh. When it gets down to about ten seconds left I bid again. I win. Justice has been served. Don’t try to snipe me if you don’t want to be sniped.

Video Games are one of my worst things because I am honestly not that great at them. There are a few I have gotten pretty good at though, so I stick mainly to those. Sonic is one of those games. I whoop the husbands butt on that game every single time.  I love saying “do you need help?” *snicker snicker* My other game is Mario Kart (see previous post). I don’t play it nearly as often as the boys in this house but I am decent when I do. We play online. I usually play as the “helper”. Meaning the points go to whoever has the first controller, I am just playing for fun, no points. Doesn’t matter. I will shoot a red or deadly blue shell at my team-mate to get ahead. Don’t care if that team-mate is my 7 yr old son or my hubby.

When my son was 5 and 6 he played t-ball. I was the one at the end of the game who knew which team was the winner. They didn’t keep score, but I did. I do not freak out on the sidelines when something happens on the field like some parents you hear about. I do however make sure the hubby knows afterward who really won the game. He finds it hilarious that I keep track. It’s T-BALL. My mind knows this. It also knows who the winner is, just sayin.

Board games, cards, contests, you name it, I want to come in first. Even when I know I am not even close to being good at whatever is going on. It’s in my nature. I just want to win. So if you challenge me to something, expect a good fight. I won’t go down without one.

I watch way too much TV


I was thinking yesterday about the shows I watch religiously every week. I won’t lie, there are quite a few. In fact, I am so attached to these shows that when summer comes and they go into reruns for what seems like an endless amount of time, I mourn. There is a common theme in the majority of shows I watch..sexual tension. Well, the dramas anyway. I love a good drama with a lot of sexual tension. These usually focus on the law in some form. Cop, FBI, CIA or some other three-letter agency I am forgetting at the moment. You can also throw some lawyers in there occasionally as well. Give me a good-looking male actor and an attractive (but not smoking hot because that would depress me) woman…and I will watch. If the writing is good, I will keep watching. Maybe I am old-fashioned but I also love when the woman inevitably screws up and gets taken hostage and the hot guy has to come rescue her. Then they need to share a touching moment when your sure they were gonna kiss, but at the last second one gets scared and they don’t. Yeah, I am a sucker for that stuff. Now, the guy also needs to screw up once in a while. I don’t like a weak female lead so even though she may screw up I don’t want her relying on the male to come get her (even though he will).

Ok, now that you have a vague idea of what I’m talking about, let’s talk shows I watch.

Bones. First and foremost I am a child of the 90’s and so I won’t lie and tell you I started watching it for the crime drama aspect. I started watching it for David Boreanaz. Having been totally into him on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and then later on his spinoff Angel. When I heard he was getting another show after Angel ended, I was all over it. Emily Deschanel plays the female lead of Dr. Brennen. Brennen is a forensic anthropologist, the top in her field.  She is totally inept at all things emotional and really has no filter between her brain and her mouth. David plays FBI Agent Booth. Tough but still sweet and funny. He loves to rebel the FBI standards with silly things like belt buckles and socks. Together they make a funny pair, but loveable. From the first season I have wanted them to get together. The sexual tension mounts with every season but Brennen refuses to give in. It’s truly reminiscent of The X-files. Don’t get me started on that show..whew I could talk for days. I own the entire show on DVD.

Castle. This show is fairly new. Its been on for two seasons I think. I am in love with it. Castle is a writer who is basing a new series on a female cop, Beckett. Castle is annoyingly smart in figuring out her cases while Beckett is a straight forward tough cop…who happens to be extremely good-looking. Maybe it’s where I live but I don’t think any of the cops in Massillon, Ohio are quite so hot. Beckett started out the show hating that Castle was forever tagging along on her cases. Now, she seems to rely on him. There have been several episodes where I was sure they were gonna profess their love. I got my wish at the end of last season when Castle decided to, in his way, tell her. But like every good show the moment came and went without completion. One person will always be on the fence when the other person is ready. So, the sexual tension will continue.

Fringe. This one is a bit different. I can’t really figure out the two main characters. They seem more like friends to me 99.99% of the time. Then the writers will throw in one “look” and I am confused again. Whatever, overall the show is awesome. It is like taking a typical FBI show and throwing weird shit in from The X-files (See, it all comes back to that show for me ha). The story line confuses me on a weekly basis and I keep watching hoping the next episode will clear things up. Only to find out that it just keeps getting stranger until the season finale where some things are answered but the main ones are still up in the air. Olivia is the female lead as the FBI agent who is working for a section of the FBI not known to normal people (of course, right). Walter is the older, probably mentally insane on some level, extremely smart on every other level, doctor. He can’t remember the most ordinary things but he can split an atom in record time. Peter is his son, who is a clone from another dimension because the original Peter died. Got your attention yet? Throw in a bald guy that acts like an alien and shows up in the background of damn near every show…yep, confused. I love it.

True Blood. Yeah, I watch this for the sex. The story line is good too, but mostly it’s the sex. End of paragraph.

The Vampire Dairies. This is my teenage foray. If they made a Twilight tv show I would watch that instead. But that isn’t gonna happen, so I watch The Vampire Dairies. It’s a decently good show as far as teenage forays go. I am still not sold on the lead vampire Stephan. I much prefer the bad boy, Damon. That seems to be my M.O. I love a bad boy who still has some smidgen of love in his cold, black heart. The guy that will nearly kill you but save you when someone else threatens you. Yeah, hot. Elena is the female lead. Eh, she’s okay. I am not professing my love for her character even after a few seasons.

Supernatural. Ok, so no sexual tension here because it’s about two demon hunting brothers. However, both brothers are what my dreams are made of so I watch. I love the storyline too because anything paranormal and demon intrigues me. Even though it’s totally not sexual, I love the brotherly love. The fact that they are completely different but totally alike. That they can hate the other one but still stand behind him and risk his life to save him. The way the demons talk cracks me up as well. I mean who would have thought a demon would take the time to make fun of you a little before they try to kill you? The way it makes me think about mythology and the Bible. This upcoming season it’s been moved to the death spot…aka Friday night. I don’t expect it to last but maybe this season and next. I will enjoy it while I have it and dream about them for years to come.

So there it is. The drama’s I currently wait all week to watch. I am sure more will be added to the list once the new lineup starts. I am seeing some promising ones. I also watch comedies, but only a few. Modern Family is HILARIOUS. Whoever writes for that show is a genius. The gay couple is my favorite. Something about a gay guy always makes me watch. I just love them. The Middle is also extremely funny because it feels like my life in many ways. I can’t forget Family Guy. I love love love that show. The more controversial the more I laugh, I’m twisted. In fact while watching the national news I am constantly thinking, “how long until this pops up on Family Guy”?

Last but not least is my reality shows. I honestly don’t do a ton of these. No Jersey Shore or Kardashian sisters for me. I keep my reality to dancing shows (NOT dance your ass off) and The Bachelorette.

If you made it this far you get a cookie. So, what do you watch? What makes you tune in every week? What do you mourn in the off-season? Tell me what makes you tick. Maybe reading about your shows will add another to my list. That’s why God invented the DVR.

Happy birthday to me…

29 years ago this morning I decided to make my big entrance. I graced my mom with my presence if you will. And, not without fan fair. I had been turned sideways throughout the majority of the pregnancy until the doctor turned me late in the game. I will leave it to your imagination how he might have done that 29 years ago. Things weren’t as technical as they are today. So, he turned me and then went about his business with his other patients for a while. When the time came to push he was astonished to discover that all his hard work was for not. I did not want to be head down. Made the blood rush to my head. I much preferred my original position of sideways. How dare he try to tell me how to lay. I am an independent woman damnit. C-section it was.  I promptly contracted pneumonia upon arriving. Ended up staying in the hospital for a few extra days. Guess that’s what I get for defying him.

Now here I am 29 years later, living the American dream. Oops, sorry, I mean living the American reality. Still as independent as ever. Raising my very own headstrong girl. I now understand why my mom and I clashed for so many years. I want control, the girl wants control, together we are a bomb ticking its countdown.

Yesterday I went to get my license renewed. Spent at least an hour there because the people who work there hate their jobs. They must pay really well or something.  They all have to be related to people who work downtown in human services. The attitude is the same. You are scum, they have to deal with you, but they will not make eye contact while doing so. Had to pay $80 for that license and a sticker. Highway robbery. Not to mention the picture looks like I am drunk and high. I swear they do it on purpose. It is a daily competition to which girl can take the worst customer picture that day. The winner gets a coffee mug or something equally as dumb. I am considering “losing” it and buying another. It’s that bad, I assure you. No I am not, and will not, put it up. I prefer people to actually think I look decent. If I posted that picture, that thought would get blown right out of the water. Only one place I would pay $80 for a picture that horrible..thank you Ohio license bureau. I salute thee for ripping off everyone in our state.

So I am 29 today. Not 30 like my husband thought. Ha. I will also continue to be 29 for the next several years. Anyone that says otherwise will have to be swiftly dealt with.

Wait? Is that a light I see?

These last few weeks have been hard for me. No secret there for sure. I have tried my best to keep a happy face on and continue the steady shift forward. Over the last few weeks I have really found out how much awesomeness that my friends possess. They have helped get me through a rough time by taking my mind off things, babysitting when I called them and by helping me out with clothes and food. What more can a girl ask for then that? I am truly blessed by those in my life.

So, enough gushing, now onto the good news. The hubby found a job! Again, thanks to my friend that got his foot in the door. However, it’s not a done deal yet. They hire through a temp agency and then do an official hire after 30 days if they feel he fits in. Lets hope he channels the chameleon and blends right in. Overall, the company seems pretty good to work for. Great insurance at an unheard of price, benefits and all the overtime you can handle.  The only downside is rotating shifts monthly. We will deal. He will whine. He will get over it. I am much harder to deal with then a midnight shift, let me assure you. He started this week. Yeah, if you remember back to my other posts you can see why I’m happy…but exasperated. This is the time of year when I have a ton of school stuff going on…orientation, testing, different first days…YIKES. I am handling everything pretty well thanks to my friends who are graciously babysitting for me around all this and my work schedule. I am so lucky to work where I can basically make my own hours as well. That really comes in handy when one month your husband can take the kids to school but the next he might only be able to pick them up.

What I am getting at is this. Things are about to get hairy. And I am not talking about the hubby’s back, that’s already hairy. I mean I am going to be shuttling kids to school, working, picking them up and trying to fanangle housework around whatever he has going on. So all those people who were happy I wasn’t cutting them off in traffic because I was rushing to two different schools…well they are about to get cut off while I’m rushing to work. Sucks for them. Stay out of my way, its safer.

Mario Kart Mayhem


This past Christmas my mom bought us a Wii for our family gift. I never thought it would get as much use as it has to date. Up until last Thanksgiving we had never let our kids play video games. I can hear little boys everywhere shrieking in horror. Anyways, when I found out what my mom planned on getting us I figured it would be a good time to bust out the ole Nintendo 64 (from when the hubby and I were dating) to at least introduce games to our 7 yr old son and 5 yr old daughter. My son has moderately severe ADHD and so I knew he would have to have some practice in the gaming world or he would have a melt down at not being able to master the Wii controls. So I hooked it up to the tv upstairs and let him have it. I haven’t seen him since. I am now realizing why I didn’t allow him to play it the first 7 yrs of his life. I am pretty sure it changes their genetic makeup because he is not the same child when it is on.

Ok, so when we got the Wii the husband wanted Mario Kart. I figured this was a good thing because I could play that one to. I am a girl, therefore gaming is not in my genes. I do not like first person shooter games where the goal is who can get the biggest bloodbath. I like cute cartoon games with silly music. Mario Kart was safe bet.

We have now had it since Christmas, Mario Kart is basically all that is played even though we have about 10 games. I play occasionally, but the hubby and the boy play constantly, all weekend long. The boy is only allowed to play the Wii on the weekend since it is on our main tv. He still plays the N64 upstairs during the week where his time limit is 2 hours (during the summer). Since my laptop has a battery that SUCKS I am tethered to the couch where they play. I am now starting to hear Mario Kart music in my sleep. When I am driving through town and someone cuts me off I immediately wish I had a red shell to throw out my window at them. Or maybe a bomb to throw out behind my car. That would teach them. Then I would laugh in a weird cartoon way as I drove by. Sometimes I wish I had a star, you know, so I wouldn’t need roads. Just drive through everything. I would be able to get to Walmart so much faster that way. This is what happens to me. I sit here and update my blog, tweet on twitter, go to facebook…all while I am listening to Mario Kart online. Oh yes, they play online. The actual game part was beat many months ago. And every time the boy sees another person with the same name as someone he knows in the real world, he insist that its them. And every time he insists I have to explain that there are millions of Noah’s or Josh’s in the world. Then there is the yelling…oh the yelling! While I have been writing this I have heard at least 10 screams of frustration that someone isn’t playing fair. When the hubby is playing alone after the kids go to bed I hear frustrated yells laced with profanity. You try updating a blog with all this commotion not 2 feet from you.

So now everyone understands when I update anything and it’s not coherent. You now understand what I am dealing with. I think the only solution would be to buy a new laptop so I can untie myself from the couch and go elsewhere. Now, if only unemployed hubby could find a job so that would be do-able. I’m willing to relocate….him.

My twitter quest


Twitter is strange. Maybe I just don’t get it yet, I don’t know. A few months back I jumped on the twitter bandwagon to follow one person. You see, I’m a pretty private person. My facebook page consists of only people I know, except for a select few. I don’t put myself out there in the cyber world too much. But following one person soon became old. So I added a few more. Then a few more. Then 300 hundred more. I follow lots of people now. Not many follow me, to be expected, I’m not very interesting. I am a mom, a worker and I guess now, a blogger. I get asked if I’m a writer all the time. I direct people to this blog so they can figure that one out for themselves. Ha NO.

I’m learning so much about different industries now. Talking to up and coming writers and my current favorites.  Entering lots of contests that I never would have heard of. Maybe that personal bucket list I have can now be achieved. I won’t have to bug Cynthia Eden as much now. MUH, love your work Cynthia! Ha, as if she is reading this. Doubtful. However, in doing this I’m expected to converse back. Don’t want people to think I’m a spambot or something like that. That’s hard for me. I am trying though, so hopefully my tweeps (haha) will give me a little time. And when I bug them to know what a #ff is or any of the other signals I know nothing about, they will forgive me.

For my part, I will try to be funny, witty, and generally interesting. This is gonna be a long road…

Me? Guest blogger?

Today I am over at the fabulous Julie A Lindsey’s blog talking about Lucy Monroe’s new book The Sicilian’s Marriage Arrangement.

This was definitely a new experience for me. Usually I only wreck MY blog, but the thought of doing it to someone elses blog, well, kinda terrified me. I spent a LONG time writing that little review. Probably well longer then is normal. I even made the husband listen to it. Now, we all know my husband does NOT care about a romance novel. He sat there like a good boy though and nodded in all the right places. Which blew my mind because I interrupted the ever important Mario Kart game. When I was done talking he said “It was good”. I guess I have trained him well, even if he isn’t very informative. I am not a real writer, so writing up that review felt like a flashback to high school. Add in the time line that I promised to have it there by, yea, sweating bullets.  I have a hard time expressing how much I love something. I honestly thought about taking a picture of me hugging the book and sending that on over. Underneath would read “It was a good book, READ IT” I figured if I did that, Julie would never ask me back so I sat down to actually write the review I had promised. I must have been drunk when I did that.  Sent it on over to her when I was done and Voila! Had a glass of wine and went to bed. How real writers do this is beyond me. I was so nervous she was going to email me and tell me it was horrible and how dare I try to destroy the baby that is her blog. I encourage you to come on over and see me over there and leave a comment!

Julie A Lindsey-writer extraordinaire

I have an addiction

I have a problem. I need help. Truly. I am addicted to books. I can’t keep my hands off them. I now have several piles waiting to be read AND library books sitting aimlessly around the house. I probably tick off the rest of the people waiting for those library books to come back because I tend to have to renew them. Hey, I can’t read all the time, I do try to have some sort of life. So, if they have to wait a few extra weeks, so be it. Sue me. I’ve been there.

Other people hang out in bars, not me, I hang out at Borders. If we had a Barnes and Noble closer I’d hang out there too. I can spend hours there. Even if I don’t have any money…which I don’t. While I’m there I just start writing down titles to check my local library for when I get home. You’ve heard me complain about our library before, they suck. I usually get home and end up cursing the fact that I don’t live somewhere like NYC where I’m sure the library has every book ever printed. Those that I can’t find at the library then end up on my list of “To Be Bought….Someday”. Or maybe “To Be Suggested To My Friends That Have Money So I Can Then Borrow It” list. Hey, a reader has got to do what a reader has got to do. Don’t judge me.  Those lists, by the way, are extremely long.

My husband calls me an “author groupie”. I think that’s just a nicer way to say stalker..HA. Which totally isn’t true. Ok, maybe I hang around on cool authors blogs and comment on 9 out of 10 posts. Maybe I enter contests and make my writer cousin enter contests for me as well. But guess who has the won signed books and who doesn’t…that’s right, me :). My goal is an entire shelf, one from every author whose blog I lurk on. It’s like my own personal bucket list.

It could be worse… least it’s not crack…..

The glass is half empty

Is your glass half full or half empty? I’m pretty sure mine was full at some point in my life and someone has been taking sips from it ever since. At this rate I’m going to have to start answering that it’s just plain empty. I wish whoever is drinking from the glass of my life would knock it the hell off. If they are that thirsty I will gladly give them another glass to drink from. Or, maybe this is a test of wills. In the next life I will have no worries, there will be no snarky bill collectors and above all I won’t be wondering what’s going to happen next. All I have to do is just make it to the end of the tunnel. Seems easy enough. Except in the tunnel are all the things that slow me down. So getting to the end is a process that tears me a little more everyday. It seems like even the smallest of things I need people to do can’t get done. Things get forgotten, people misplace important items, jobs don’t get done. I’m expected to sit around and wait patiently while other people get their act together. Well, sorry world, I can’t sit on my booty and wait for you to do what you need to do. My family needs you to actually do your job now, not tomorrow, or next week.  Not understanding how this is difficult.

Husband is still without a job. Which means he is doing most of the housework while I try to make enough money to pay rent and bills. That’s not going so well, by the way. There literally isn’t enough hours in my day, nor work to be done. He needs a job or he needs to start the packing process. People constantly tell me “things happen for a reason” . I wish that saying would be outlawed. Unless you can tell me the reason, then of course, spout your fortune cookie sayings to anyone that will listen. But, you can’t, so just leave it alone. The saying doesn’t make me feel any better, does not help me in any way, and generally just pisses me off.

Thankfully though so far the kids seem unaffected. They don’t understand finances and food crises. Keeping the boy fed is a job all its own. I really don’t know where he puts it all. He needs to get a job…he is only 7, but still, he eats more than me. Since he never sits down for more than 30 seconds, I can see how his metabolism is so revved up. It really isn’t fair. If I had his energy I could work 20 hrs a day and still be able to come home and do the chores and fix meals.All he wants to do is play video games.

I know we aren’t alone, I know this is common place these days. So, why does it feel so lonely over here? Got to keep the faith I suppose. I really am hoping there is a plan to the destructiveness that has become my life. There better be, or I want my money back.

, PHPlist